You may have noticed my first blog titles have had a pattern. Improvise. Adapt. And now, Overcome. This is the unofficial moto of the Marine Corps. What do you and a Marine in the field have in common? You, me, our kiddos… we are always in battle. Our battle is fear. Our battle is saving our family’s happiness. Our battle is overcoming ignorance. Our battle is ourselves. Our battle is life. Our battle is confusing, overwhelming, frustrating, and scary.
Our battle is for the welfare of our precious child.
What does the Marine in combat not have in common with you? He/She has a team. Most of us parents don’t have the support that comes with a unified force.
When our little ones came into our lives, hearing loss probably was not even on the radar of concerns. Worries of diapers, feedings, wipes, and daycare typically dominate the thoughts of most new parents-to-be. Being a new parent is like a battle in itself. Yet, when we then are ambushed with the diagnosis, we are attacked with fear and misconception. We are assailed with grief. We are bombarded with professional recommendations, family advice, our own and others ignorance, and short timelines.
And it is our job to handle all this, without giving up, without letting our happiness get stolen, without our baby suffering.
How do you do this?
Well, each of us has a different journey but here are a few guiding principles:
- Fortify your mind – Gather all the information you can. Become knowledgeable. Prepare yourself.
- Command central – Your leadership is the most important in this mission. Are you and your spouse/partner on the same page? Is one afraid to tell the other what they think, fear, want? Does one have unreasonable and unvoiced expectations of the other?
- Unify – Keep your family included. Tell them your new knowledge. Your army has to know the mission, not all the details mind you, but enough to carry out the mission. You will find that the more comfortable you are with your knowledge and decisions, the less people interfere and the less others helpfulness tends to be irksome.
- What is the mission? To be strong for your child. To maintain and/or improve your family’s wellbeing. Always keep the mission in sight. Always make it a priority. Always fight for your family’s happiness.
- Look for reinforcements – find local groups. And those groups can be difficult to find, but look for them. Start with figures you may be familiar with, such as Marlee Matlin. Learn about her life, her struggles, her amazing successes, the charities she supports. Or Derrick Coleman. Or Beethoven. Or Bill Clinton (hard of hearing). Find groups like Hands and Voices, or use this list I found from Gallaudet. When you are comfortable, become a member, become active, become involved.
Does this sometimes mean that you are bearing a heavy load? Yes.
Does this sometimes mean that you must make decisions you want to avoid? Yes.
Does this mean you get to sit and feel sorry for yourself? No.
You Improvise. You Adapt. You Overcome.
Because in the end, the greatest of these is Love.
A Different Kind of Normal 