Momma Bear

 

If there is only one thing women with children can agree on, it’s that there are either good mammas or bad mammas. And heavens know that in reality, every other momma is not half as good a momma as you are. And if that momma does seem like she has it all together all the time, well, as the joke goes, “How nice.” (No, I have not been to charm school.)

Just about every momma can be a momma bear.

Sometimes, a momma is a bear for the wrong reasons though.

So, I came up with a chart of when to be a momma bear and times to NOT be a momma bear.

 

Bear YES	Bear NO
Someone intentionally hurts your cub	You assume that an injury was intentional without knowing the facts
You request pertinent information from your child’s teacher and they directly refuse to give it to you	You get the feeling the teachers are out to get your kid but you have no proof, except for the way that teacher looks at you when you pick up your baby
Your child is not allowed on a community sports team	Your sweet baby, whom you know to be the most talented on the team, does not get to play every moment of the game.
Your school system is in direct violation of Section 504 of the Rehabilitation Act of 1973 requiring a school district to provide a “free appropriate public education”	Your baby has a wobbly chair at school
Somebody says your baby is ugly	Oh NO she didn’t!

 Recently, I stuck my big ole boot in my mouth because, well, I said somebody’s baby was, well, not ugly per se, but I did say that in the recent past, the baby had not behaved in a pretty way. (I’m talking metaphorically, not literally. Every baby is beautiful, even when they aren’t behaving pretty)

Nobody wants to hear they have an ugly baby.

Yet, sometimes, constructive feedback is necessary. Sometimes, a momma has to be a bear, not just for her cub, but for other cubs that may be in similar circumstances. If the feedback is delivered in a bearish fashion though, people don’t tend to hear your words, they just see your fangs.

In your journey, there will be times to be a bear, to be your child’s advocate. There will also be times where being a bear is not a good thing. I’d like to say there is a golden standard by which distinction can be made as to when to be a bear and when not to be. But, if there is, I don’t know it. There are pros and cons for both. Sometimes your bearish behavior is the one thing that gets a point across. Sometimes your point gets lost in the roar.

Personally, I get very bearish when I believe there to be injustice, inequality, partiality, laziness, carelessness, and closed-mindedness. I feel strongly in fighting a system that doesn’t give each child or parent the tools to find and open the most opportunity. I feel strongly that sometimes it is a good thing to toss the money tables like Jesus did in Matthew 21:12. Or like in chemistry, a catalyst is necessary to promote otherwise inert substances to react in exciting super nerdy chemical ways.

People may hate your bearish ways, just keep in mind the end goal; whether it is to ensure your cub has the most optimal path, or to ensure other cubs and bears can find their most optimal path.

And let your inner bear out every once in a while…bears don’t like being cooped up. 

 

“The Section 504 regulations require a school district to provide a “free appropriate public education” (FAPE) to each qualified student with a disability who is in the school district’s jurisdiction, regardless of the nature or severity of the disability. Under Section 504, FAPE consists of the provision of regular or special education and related aids and services designed to meet the student’s individual educational needs as adequately as the needs of nondisabled students are met.” http://www2.ed.gov/about/offices/list/ocr/504faq.html